It has almost been a month since my last post and much curious content has been stewing in my mind...
Shall I share an intriguing and enlightening beauty paradigm that I recently came across?
Or do I muse about the secret of where our sensual potency truly lies?
Indeed, these are important and useful topics that will be covered in their own time.
However for now, I would like to talk to you about the essense of vulnerability - that delicate and beautiful quality that is present in every butterfly, woman and flower, and yet a quality that most of us are still so scared of revealing.
What is Vulnerability?
I see it as the tender feeling you feel when you surrender control.
Indeed, we all have unconscious structures that we rely on in order to feel safe... Especially when it comes to unspoken agreements with other people. We go into fearful mode when we feel these structures are threatened and to avoid feeling the flux of uncertainty, we go into control overdrive.
COnsider how you control others to get your own agenda:
Do you nag? Do you guilt trip? Do you sulk? Do you become bossy?
You may have good intentions and it may certainly help you to feel better in the short term, but what if I told you your actions are actually doing more harm than good?
When you go into your controlling, dominating, self-serving mode, you contract the moment and you diminish the quality of exchange between you and the other person.
And who wants that?
Feeling Safe in Your Surrender
Next time you are trying to "get" people to behave in a certain way, ask yourself:
Are MY good intentions to the greater benefit of ALL involved? Whose agenda is this this really benefitting?
Since control is a form of fear, it is very likely that your control is a self-protection mechanism.
Relax, we all have it - next time just be more conscious of it.
Furthermore, notice how drained and exhausted you feel when you take on the responsibility for "rescuing" your friends. You work over-time to offer them advice they'll never take, or get angry when someone doesn't behave it the way you think they "should" ("Should" is such an ugly world by the way, please scrap it from your vocabulary and replace with "want" or "prefer").
And we do it because we worry how our friends behaviour will ultimately affect us. Yes, swallow that - when you are in controlling mode, you are doing so because you fear of what it would mean to YOU if the situation were to escalate. If you were to really care from your heart and choose love, I assure it would warrant a totally different conversation. One is concerned with your wellbeing primarily, the other with your friend's - see the difference?
Sometimes being a true help means biting your tounge and saying you'll love them no matter what - the fallout may mean feeling the discomfort within as your opinion is left unsaid - and that is precisely what vulnerability is.
Vulnerability is the tenderness you feel when your heart opens as you release your fear-based agendas, when you allow the moment to be and trust that, even though you dont know what will happen next, when you act from a place of genuine caring and love you trust that everything will work out for the best.
Now, Allow for Truth and Observe
This week, imagine just pausing and just letting it be... Allow your friend to experience a crisis that you don't feel compelled to fix?
Imagine saying nothing when your boyfriend does something wrong or forgets somethng?Imagine going with the flow, allowing people to be late and changing the plans you have together?
What comes up?
As you continue to breathe into that feeling, you may discover the tender heart of a True Goddess.
Til next time,
Alina x
No comments:
Post a Comment