Master Your Emotional Space

E-motions are just that – ripples of energy moving through our bodies like the seasons.

However, if that is the simple case, why are we often left so devastated in their wake?

This post all about helping you turn your internal tornado into a sunny summer’s day...

When triggered internally, we often think that something on the ‘outside’ has happened to make us feel a certain way. However, what we think we’re reacting to (“that shop assistant was SO rude to me!”)... is not usually it.

Rather, this event merely pressed on our “protection pockets” that as kids we develop to protect us from inner turmoil. Now, when anything happens that reminds our unconscious mind of the painful event, our bodies react physiologically in a knee-jerk response. So really, you’re unconsciously reacting to something your folks did when you were 3 – not because someone cut you off, ok?

When you tune into what emotions are a little bit more deeply, you will notice they are nothing more than just sensations in the body… A mild burning across your cheeks, a subtle tightness in your stomach, a tingling in your heart. Most of us have had tummy aches 10 times worse!

And still, many of us spend a lifetime of sins trying to drown these sensations out – why is that?

The answer is simply this: because the mind gets in the way and begins to attach all sorts of stories about why you’re upset: how your life is now a disaster, why it’s everybody else’s fault, and so on.

Of course tragic events do happen that devastate us at the truly core level. However, the destructive role of the mind is in it’s ability to stew and feed the neurosis and the pain long after the event is over – and sometimes even a whole lifetime.

Furthermore, how many times have you been upset about something that has been totally blown out of proportion? Where there is drama present in your life, the mind's trickery is usually at play – so please remember that during your next 'tantie'.

By the way, 'rejection' is a good example of such dramatizing – most of us are so scared of it, we concoct whole personalities as a means of avoiding it.

However, what is actually so bad about it? Some ignoramus is missing out on the pleasure of your company and as a result, your cheeks get slightly warm and the tummy flutters. And?!? Many before you have lived through such 'ordeals' and are still alive and kicking. ;-)

Rejection is “scary” due to all the mind ‘stuff’ that gets lumped on top to do with your identity – ‘it’s because I’m stupid, ugly, annoying, inferior’, you tell yourself. Those comments are utter rubbish.... and besides, you can’t read people’s minds.

The only truth that exists in the moment is that you have a slight stomach flutter and someone didn’t do as your agenda dictated. That, you can survive.

So, if emotions are a sensory thing, then take a deep breath and simply feel feel them in your body, without the story and the reasons. Come home to yourself, to all your tingles and sensations.

You may find that you simply feel alive – and from that point nothing can actually hurt you.

You can now also easily lower your ‘reactivity’ by recoding how your body and mind reads events. Please contact me on alina@truegoddess.com.au if you'd like to know more.

Now it's your turn - what are some things you do to master your emotions and moods before they get the better of you?

Please share your tips!

Much love,

Alina xx

Boundaries are Your Power

What is the big deal with "No"?

An aversion to uttering this simple word leads to much more dire consequences down the line:

A destructive relationship that goes on too long, a mind-numbing evening that should have never happened, an ulgy temper that would have never exploded and self-respect that may remain unharmed.

And yet we remain - agreeable, meek and accomodating at the expense of our self-worth, hoping that our approval of the bullshit in our lives will somehow keep us from ending up alone.

Instead, we voice our frustrations via the passive-aggressive route: choosing to bitch and complain incessantly about the same old thing for months on end during what should be quality catch-ups with friends.

It's time to become discerning girls. Cut the crap in your life (you won't miss it, I promise) and make room for new, beautiful things that are more becoming to the woman that you are.

"Act like a queen, be treated like a queen"

The most important thing about boundaries is that they are upheld then and there.

That means that as soon as you feel even a twinking of bullshit, you aknowledge it - firmly and politely. You don't sit on it for months on end, allowing it to stew into an inevitable explosion. You act like a grown woman and speak up - NO!

Step 1

Be aware of what's draining and walk away from it. Take note of it and aknowlege to yourself that it's not right. Once you feel the burn of unrest within you, it is oh-so-easy to walk away (it is amazing how good we are at suppressing these tell-tale signs from our body, fearing what they may reveal).

Step 2

As we know, our power lies in the ability to contain energy within our body (read the last post on mystery to really understand what that means).

Boundaries, which is precisely what saying "No" means, help you contain that energy by protecting yourself from anything that takes your life-force.

Many things drain us - people who talk inccessantly about themselves, bad news, chronic complainers, hours staring at the computer screen, junky food...

As I said, it's best to have awareness of the effect these things have on you and remove yourself from them at first convenience, like a bad smell. This is not bitchy - its self preservation.

In all honesty, you're much better off speaking with people who uplift and inspire you; or balancing all that computer time with walks outside and some lazy shoulder rolls (and a massage, if you can get it).

Step 3

Authenticity (the topic of an upcoming post) is another great way of dispersing negative energy.

Be REAL with people about where you stand - and do them the favour of a lifetime. If someone is complaining, gently point it out to them. If someone is blabbing on, delicately interrupt their trance and restore the flow. Instead of pandering to their pattern like everyone else, you display genuine care by speaking earnestly are inviting them to shine with you.

Step 4

If there's no escaping the draining scenario (aunty Beryl at a wedding, a difficult client), nothing beats igniting your aura with a sphere of radiant light to keep your energy pure, powerful and clean whilst deflecting any negativity back to the sender as unconditional love.

You can have your own variation on these energy shields...

Step 5

Now, share your insights, tips and opinions with others to help us become Boundary Queens! What works for you? What doesn't? What else is on your mind?

With much warmth,

Alina x

So, what drains you? how do you protect your energy?