Boundaries are Your Power

What is the big deal with "No"?

An aversion to uttering this simple word leads to much more dire consequences down the line:

A destructive relationship that goes on too long, a mind-numbing evening that should have never happened, an ulgy temper that would have never exploded and self-respect that may remain unharmed.

And yet we remain - agreeable, meek and accomodating at the expense of our self-worth, hoping that our approval of the bullshit in our lives will somehow keep us from ending up alone.

Instead, we voice our frustrations via the passive-aggressive route: choosing to bitch and complain incessantly about the same old thing for months on end during what should be quality catch-ups with friends.

It's time to become discerning girls. Cut the crap in your life (you won't miss it, I promise) and make room for new, beautiful things that are more becoming to the woman that you are.

"Act like a queen, be treated like a queen"

The most important thing about boundaries is that they are upheld then and there.

That means that as soon as you feel even a twinking of bullshit, you aknowledge it - firmly and politely. You don't sit on it for months on end, allowing it to stew into an inevitable explosion. You act like a grown woman and speak up - NO!

Step 1

Be aware of what's draining and walk away from it. Take note of it and aknowlege to yourself that it's not right. Once you feel the burn of unrest within you, it is oh-so-easy to walk away (it is amazing how good we are at suppressing these tell-tale signs from our body, fearing what they may reveal).

Step 2

As we know, our power lies in the ability to contain energy within our body (read the last post on mystery to really understand what that means).

Boundaries, which is precisely what saying "No" means, help you contain that energy by protecting yourself from anything that takes your life-force.

Many things drain us - people who talk inccessantly about themselves, bad news, chronic complainers, hours staring at the computer screen, junky food...

As I said, it's best to have awareness of the effect these things have on you and remove yourself from them at first convenience, like a bad smell. This is not bitchy - its self preservation.

In all honesty, you're much better off speaking with people who uplift and inspire you; or balancing all that computer time with walks outside and some lazy shoulder rolls (and a massage, if you can get it).

Step 3

Authenticity (the topic of an upcoming post) is another great way of dispersing negative energy.

Be REAL with people about where you stand - and do them the favour of a lifetime. If someone is complaining, gently point it out to them. If someone is blabbing on, delicately interrupt their trance and restore the flow. Instead of pandering to their pattern like everyone else, you display genuine care by speaking earnestly are inviting them to shine with you.

Step 4

If there's no escaping the draining scenario (aunty Beryl at a wedding, a difficult client), nothing beats igniting your aura with a sphere of radiant light to keep your energy pure, powerful and clean whilst deflecting any negativity back to the sender as unconditional love.

You can have your own variation on these energy shields...

Step 5

Now, share your insights, tips and opinions with others to help us become Boundary Queens! What works for you? What doesn't? What else is on your mind?

With much warmth,

Alina x

So, what drains you? how do you protect your energy?