... provided you are willing to do what it takes to get it.
This post is aimed to help you become the kind of person that good stuff sticks to... and minimise any excess chasing, stress and inaction in return.
On some level, living life well is all about setting achievable goals, as any goal-getting gospel will tell you. To paraphrase years of self-help manuals:
"Have an end in mind, break it down into manageable chunks, do daily only what's important and viola! - trip away achieved, business launched and size 6 jeans out of hiding"...
Ok, sounds easy enough... but it's the "do daily only what's important" bit that used to get me every time. Somehow Facebook, having another sandwich and calling a friend always got in the way of me even posting on this blog (an affliction I've now conquered, as you can see by the execution of this post! ;))
For those who suffer from action-aversion, there's always The Secret http://www.thesecret.tv/ - see it, feel it, and it will come (getting off your bum and putting in the hard yakka is seemingly optional). This valuable but somewhat distorted account of manifestation presents a limited angle to what is actually a powerful law. If visualisation and affirmative thought was enough, I'd be driving a Mercedes to work by now, not catching a Mercedes bus.
Now, I am not poo-pooing the Law of Attraction, The Secret or the desire for material possesions. Its more that when goal-actualising technology is split between the "Working-like-a-dog" vs the "See-it-and-it-will-come" camps, we kinda forget that the whole point of being a good egg in life (and indeed, truly being happy) is to give, not to get.
Yes, success is dependent on action, with a bit of magic thrown in. But our ability to take those actions consistently depends on the inner strengths that are required to make said actions easy.
Most of us are so OUTSIDE-focused that we forget that WE are our biggest work-in-progress. The recognition and development of our inner qualities is what determines our ability to add real value to the world around us.
I don't belive that we "create" opportunities - rather, we grow into them.
A lot of us are still wishing for a fantasy life without doing the actual inner work to make it happen. Taking responsibility and looking at your 'stuff' is a humbling and uncomfortable process, but also one that is empowering beyond words and will prepare you for anything in life.
When you improve, everything improves.
Therein lies my whole argument for self-realisation. I am not after a wild dream or the fillment of a bottomless pit of depair within myself. Rather, I feel that the planet needs a lot of work, so I am taking the time and work necessary daily to be the most inspired, strong and compassionate woman I can be, so that I have the energy and resources to give back to others through who I am.
As the adage goes, "you can't give what you don't have".
If you don't like yourself, it's probably because you are behaving as someone you probably wouldn't like either. For instance, if I'm being lazy, skipping on exercise, being a brat or not giving my friends and family the care they deserve... I don't like myself. At the same time, when I exercise, am mindful in my communication, meditate, get my work out on time and act with integrity, I like myself. Simple!
So, become someone you would like. How would you like to be described?The best way I know is to first focus on who you would like to BE. Then go ahead and be that person. That's it.
If you have qualities that you need to work on, get off your butt and do so. If you need help, email me on alina@alinabcoaching.com and I would be happy to help you design an action plan.
To finish off, here is a quote that I just found by Gary Gorrow that sums this up perfectly...
Don't be shy after you finished reading this and leave a post about what inner skills and strengths you would like to develop in yourself... Or what advice you have for others who are wanting to develop more patience, resilience, grace or compassion in their lives...
Alina x
Shifting Perception
There are two ways of meeting difficulties: we can alter the difficulties, or we can alter ourselves to meet them.
A simple shift in our own awareness brings an enormous shift in how we experience daily life.
If we could gently train ourselves to see the progressive value in every situation, to have our attention on the gift concealed behind that which is seemingly difficult, we would come to realize that life's challenges aren't meant to paralyse us, they are natures uniquely orchestrated events designed to accelerate our evolution and help us to discover who we really are.
The truth is that if we're never challenged or never try to do something beyond what we have already mastered, we will never grow.
Jai Guru Deva
Gary
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Devotion to Discipline
I have noticed in the last few weeks how the word "discipline" conjures up all sorts of nervous twitches amongst my friends and clients.
Interesting to see how a word that simply means 'ritual, consistency and a worthy routine' actually conjures up images akin to Chinese water torture!
So how did this delusion start? And what can we do to befriend this rather useful but less-than-popular virtue?
Once upon a time, we decided that pleasure is good and pain is bad. It kinda began when we were very tiny and compared the experience of grazing our knees with that of Nana giving us a cupcake - and deciding we would much rather the latter.
As we grew slightly older, we became more and more at home with our world of sweet and gratifying delights.... discomfort becoming a distant cousin to sleeping in, playtime and yummy treats. We didn't know it at the time, but this was the beginning of confusing being comfortable with being happy. Normal for kids, debilitating for adults.
Over the years, our resilience muscle waned further and an Inner Sloth began to settle in its place, thriving on the traps of quick-fix instant gratification and governing our life through shitty habits like sleeping past the alarm, having second helpings of dessert, skipping the gym and calling our exes.
As the Inner Sloth began to take up more and more mental real-estate, our Inner Babe/Triathlete/Painter/Powerhouse was kicked to the curb. Her voice was only heard through our flashes of envy when we saw someone who was actually living out their gifts. "Bitch!" we would think of the fit, lithe woman on the beach doing her 4th lap of Bondi. "Oh, if only I'd had her body/boyfriend/discipline...." you lament. And, defeatist nature reigning supreme, you'd go home to the comforts of your safety net, relegating your real potential to nothing more than a 'childish fantasy'.
Arrghhh! Is this really how we want to be running our lives?
Your greatest ally is buried right underneath you. Your Discomfort is kinda like the chubby kid at school that you initially ignored, but then became your closest friend when you discovered how funny he was during a classroom gag. So too our pain becomes a misunderstood compatriot, if used correctly. Recognise it simply as nothing more than the sound of your Inner Sloth complaining, not getting what it wants... and that's exactly what you want - to piss it off so badly that it leaves. After all, what better way to disturb a gratification addict than to make it temporarily uncomfortable? ;)
What you give in to is what runs your life. And I would much rather a hot, sexy, fit, informed and energised Goddess run my life. I reckon she's way more fun than Slobbo on the couch. She is a tough chick who knows she's worth the effort...
The question is, do you?
If you don't, it's only 'cos the Inner Slob has brainwashed you to have its way. Don't buy into its dogma! It's funny how we think that discipline is a way of suddenly being 'controlled', when this thing had its grips on us all along...
The good news is, that like an imaginary friend, the Inner Slob lives only as long as you pay attention to it. And you deserve to now be paying attention to something else entirely. You are worth the trouble and the effort of making yourself as healthy, beautiful, wealthy, successful and inspired as you can be. Your dreams and projects ARE worth your time... and so is everything else in your life that is meaningful and magical to you, OK?
Listen to the voice of your Inner Goddess only, from now on. That was her speaking to you, by the way. Isn't she lovely?
So where are some wonderful and nourishing places to start being ritualistic around, for the purposes of flowering your spirit and your life?
- Getting up really early so you have time to meditate, exercise and consciously plan your day
- Saying NO to most things and people unless they nourish your self worth, creativity and soul (see post coming up on Discernment/ 80-20 Rule)
- Giving an hour daily to your label, novel, blog, website... whatever creative pursuit you're wanting to birth
- Going to bed at a regular hour
- Making 80% of your diet water, vegies, greens, alive foods...
- Making only 20% of your drinks alcoholic ;)
What else would nourish, support you and electrify your life, if given the regular care, love and attention?
I look forward to hearing from you below x
Interesting to see how a word that simply means 'ritual, consistency and a worthy routine' actually conjures up images akin to Chinese water torture!
So how did this delusion start? And what can we do to befriend this rather useful but less-than-popular virtue?
Once upon a time, we decided that pleasure is good and pain is bad. It kinda began when we were very tiny and compared the experience of grazing our knees with that of Nana giving us a cupcake - and deciding we would much rather the latter.
As we grew slightly older, we became more and more at home with our world of sweet and gratifying delights.... discomfort becoming a distant cousin to sleeping in, playtime and yummy treats. We didn't know it at the time, but this was the beginning of confusing being comfortable with being happy. Normal for kids, debilitating for adults.
Over the years, our resilience muscle waned further and an Inner Sloth began to settle in its place, thriving on the traps of quick-fix instant gratification and governing our life through shitty habits like sleeping past the alarm, having second helpings of dessert, skipping the gym and calling our exes.
As the Inner Sloth began to take up more and more mental real-estate, our Inner Babe/Triathlete/Painter/Powerhouse was kicked to the curb. Her voice was only heard through our flashes of envy when we saw someone who was actually living out their gifts. "Bitch!" we would think of the fit, lithe woman on the beach doing her 4th lap of Bondi. "Oh, if only I'd had her body/boyfriend/discipline...." you lament. And, defeatist nature reigning supreme, you'd go home to the comforts of your safety net, relegating your real potential to nothing more than a 'childish fantasy'.
Arrghhh! Is this really how we want to be running our lives?
Your greatest ally is buried right underneath you. Your Discomfort is kinda like the chubby kid at school that you initially ignored, but then became your closest friend when you discovered how funny he was during a classroom gag. So too our pain becomes a misunderstood compatriot, if used correctly. Recognise it simply as nothing more than the sound of your Inner Sloth complaining, not getting what it wants... and that's exactly what you want - to piss it off so badly that it leaves. After all, what better way to disturb a gratification addict than to make it temporarily uncomfortable? ;)
What you give in to is what runs your life. And I would much rather a hot, sexy, fit, informed and energised Goddess run my life. I reckon she's way more fun than Slobbo on the couch. She is a tough chick who knows she's worth the effort...
The question is, do you?
If you don't, it's only 'cos the Inner Slob has brainwashed you to have its way. Don't buy into its dogma! It's funny how we think that discipline is a way of suddenly being 'controlled', when this thing had its grips on us all along...
The good news is, that like an imaginary friend, the Inner Slob lives only as long as you pay attention to it. And you deserve to now be paying attention to something else entirely. You are worth the trouble and the effort of making yourself as healthy, beautiful, wealthy, successful and inspired as you can be. Your dreams and projects ARE worth your time... and so is everything else in your life that is meaningful and magical to you, OK?
Listen to the voice of your Inner Goddess only, from now on. That was her speaking to you, by the way. Isn't she lovely?
So where are some wonderful and nourishing places to start being ritualistic around, for the purposes of flowering your spirit and your life?
- Getting up really early so you have time to meditate, exercise and consciously plan your day
- Saying NO to most things and people unless they nourish your self worth, creativity and soul (see post coming up on Discernment/ 80-20 Rule)
- Giving an hour daily to your label, novel, blog, website... whatever creative pursuit you're wanting to birth
- Going to bed at a regular hour
- Making 80% of your diet water, vegies, greens, alive foods...
- Making only 20% of your drinks alcoholic ;)
What else would nourish, support you and electrify your life, if given the regular care, love and attention?
I look forward to hearing from you below x
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