We all want to feel the butterflies.
That feeling of our eyes and bodies belonging solely to another, where even the finest specimen leaves our head unturned.
I too have longed to lose myself in pining - euphoric moments of togetherness evolving to an elated crash as separation finally arrives.
Welcome to the world of lust, where romantic assessments are based on feeling and an 'unseen' energy vs character and togetherness.
Lust feels amazing - and not just in the loins. It is a feeling of desiring someone wholeheartedly with your body, including your heart. It is like taking a happy drug where you feel blissful in their presence... You feel bigger, better, stronger... indeed, it feels very much like falling in love.
So how do you know that you are not?
Because love awakens our desire to give, whilst lust triggers our compulsion to take. With lust, we WANT them, crave our fix. Their presence - or lack of - greatly influences our mood.
We don't seem to care whether they even care - whether they are on time, honest, 'get' our job or like our friends. Whilst those things may niggle at us, we conveniently forget them in the elation of being in their presence once again.
With love, it is a more grounded, anchored feeling of sweet knowing that extends its branches into partnership and togetherness. Simply, you're a team. You care about each others work and woes. Your desire is to give, to create happy moments for each other without expecting anything in return. You don't lose yourself when you are with them - you become more of who you are.
It is easy to imagine a future with your love object. There will be a receptive feeling as you picture your wedding, your children, meeting challenges and enjoying old age. Everything feels like it might just work out.
Try as you might to do the same for your lust object, and it feels like they almost want to run from the scene! There will be something in your gut that says 'this isn't right' and even 6 months down the line your visions may feel blurred.
So can your lust object be your love object? Absolutely. If the character and partnership are present. You will be best mates and lovers - as well as a million other incarnations all in the one. Oh, and your love object will TOTALLY give you butterflies...
...it's just a feeling that will grow stronger with time.
If you have a comment or your own lust to love tale, feel free to leave a post or email me at alina@alinabcoaching.com.
Have a beautiful week x
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2 comments:
I love your writing so much Alina...
Ok here's my tale of love or lust, whatever it is I'm in it.
I met Nick, checking out my gym ...and me as it turned out. I was very haughty because of his woggy charm. The "you can't touch this" attitude :)
Perseverence on both sides, I signed him up to the gym, he got a kiss from me. We've been friends ever since and, occasionally on the rooftop, a little more.
He's mentioned maybe he'll marry me one day ...to my sister. I've met both parents, but all this has happened at his cafe, the cafe he bought across the road from the gym.
I visit his cafe a lot and we flirt a lot but we've never met outside his cafe or the gym. And yes, I've done the modern thing and asked HIM on a date ...twice. Somehow it didn't happen.
So. I haven't figured out if this guy's a player, a mamas boy, or just a man trying to build up his business. He gets me so angry yet he's the only man I've ever imagined marrying with such clarity and without fear.
Patience in Love? Maybe. In Lust? Drives me nuts!
xox Genevieve
Hi Gen honey...
He is not a player - he is just a man. Stop projecting fantasies on to him and start looking at actions instead.
I believe a man's character is most evident by how much ACTION he is willing to invest to be with us.
If it's a lot, he's a keeper. This is not a test - it is equally invigorating for him to awaken this motivation to serve from within as it is for you to recieve it.
The reason why he hasn't asked you out is that its easier not to. After all, he will see you at his cafe and get his yummy and flirtatious fix! You are doing all the work for him and subconsiously there is no room for him to step up.
That can only happen in the tension, which you will create through space. Like all good things, this will involve the delay of instant gratification to see what arises for you both in the discomfort.
I know it feels so 'right' to see him... but it is the pain of not seeing him - and him not seeing you - that will reveal where you both truly stand and what he is willing to do to make his longing go away... provided it is there in the first place.
You must know if a man longs for you... and if he doesn't - you know you will always be the one calling the shots.
Is that what you really want?
A xx
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