Since I started working for myself, I'd had a frought relationship with money.
That's mainly because there was no one there to micromanage me, direct my super and the like.
Coming from an immigrant background, austerity was a way of life and abundance was something that happened to alien forms from other planets. Our family, like all the families around us made miracles happen on a shoestring - and there was a sense of pride in that.
Fast forward 20 years and those mixed messages remain. Society blurts at me that bling is in and we respect those strong enough to keep up. In the cluelessness I felt towards accumulating wealth ('who was there to teach me?' was my excuse), I resort to a fantasy life funded by credit cards. Eating out where ever I want, wearing whom ever I please... Life is sweet - and somehow bitter-sweet. It bites because I'm still stuck in the 'poverty' trap. It hurts because a steady income seems to slip through my fingers. It's dire more than anything, becuase I want to be free and grown up, yet my debt is like a black hole that sucks up any opportunity that comes.
I live in a false dream so I don't struggle like my parents. And yet I have become the biggest prisoner of all.
At least my parents had a handle on money. What little they had, they appropriated wisely. It's what enabled them to be a success in a new country that allowed opportunities to fly. I, on the other hand had no idea what I make and what I let slip. It's easier not to know: responsibility can hurt.
And yet a point comes when it's just time to grow up. Scoldings of the past that have fallen on deaf ears were suddenly reborn as words of common sense. My parents nagged me so many times to cease all credit cards and build my savings... yet this didn't penetrate the roots of my deluded rationale (nor was it ready to, til now).
I meet her, a compatriot of my age and disposition. Her centre strikes me as it underpins her pretty lightness. She fixes me with a steely gaze and calls me on my crap immediately. Her name is Canna Campbell and she is my new friend who is a financial planner. Yet somehow is she also a mystic. Latte after latte, the secrets of money are revealed to me, with truths and insights on the attitudes that shape it.
Something finally clicks - within a week, I'm facing my responsibility with debt. I make a timeline to chart its progressive payment. All else is put on hold (trips overseas and other sensless fantasies).
By the second week, it's time to know my worth. I use my birthday money to employ a book keeper and accountant, as well as journal my expenses daily.
I take time to aknowledge the income opportunities that do comes in. Even 5c pieces in the street are honoured and appreciated. (By this time I suddenly have 5 new wonderful clients who seem to have come out of now where).
The credit card, my dear crutch is the last thing to go. And yet, there it is, gathering dustlings in a drawer. I have the refreshing lifestyle that is shaped by my true means. Oddly, my routine doesn't change so much. The Universe is always listening and providing. A meal with a friend is just as rich in a different restaurant. I don't go for a facial but realise I don't need it. Strawberries on my skin feel cleansed and strangely earthed. Now this, to me is ultimate abundance. becuase I want what I have and therefore have anything I want.
Life continues to listen and reward integrity. I recieve 3 more new clients at a wonderful new rate. I quote my price and they think it's a steal. I still feel funny talking about money, but like talk of sex, seeing the sacred value of it has been my last frontier.
I'm so glad that I've had Canna by my side. Since meeting her, I have achieved more in 8 weeks that I have tried to in 8 years. I feel empowered, responsible and on track. I faced reality and found new ways to conquer old ghosts in a lifestyle-friendly way.
I hear so many women talk of woe with money. We are in credit card dependency without realising it's emotional implication. We feel the need to spend so we feel better, all the while side-stepping what we truly value. We mimmic patterns with wealth like we have with men - here one minute, poofed the next.
I wanted women to know what I know and experience the empowering changes that I have. I wanted Canna to share with others what she shared with me - and get as many women there as would listen.
And that is what we've done - put together a fast-track Masterclass of all the tips, tools and techniques that work to turn around our relationship with money.
With only a few seats left, this blog is simply to inspire everyone who reads it to reflect on their own attitudes and journey.
If this strikes true and you wish to still join us, then registration is open until friday at this link
http://www.theartofbeingsexy.com.au/page/honey-money-goddess-workshop/default.asp.
Til then - to all our birthright light, love and prosperity.
Alina xx
* image courtesy of http://www.havens.co.uk
