The Honesty of Cleansing

Alas, I've had it. After a morose few weeks of low morale and waffling through my endeavours, I know it's time to cleanse myself of sin. A heavy, funny word, yet one that simply states a lack of my alignment, replaced by indulgent choices that have crumpled my otherwise buoyant soul. Compounded, even too much dairy and coffee sends me to a portal that is 'normal', yet unenlightened. I know that when I keep it simple and I cleanse, life takes on a whole new acuity. In fact, it is all so obvious and blissful, I wonder whether that is actually my true way of being; the true normality. I noticed in these last few weeks my inability to really get excited about things or connect with people. It's like this wall has been over my heart, preventing an authentic exchange of care. I feign interest and enthusiasm, but at the core, I felt indifferent. And that scares me. And so, the fasting and juice cleansing comes in through the comfortable surrounds of my home. There is something very honest about hunger. It strips away the impulses and distortions that our usual diet can play on our energy field. After all, food medicates, elevates and dulls. For so long it has been my saviour, my friend, my security blanket. An immediate crutch when I felt bored, tranced out or emotional. However now, I was ready for my true light to shine. The clarity, ideas and life that so effortlessly come through me in the absence of those stodgy barriers. The day begins with a slow, low energy. I welcome it as I know stillness holds its gifts. It's a relief to no longer rush and scurry and let my soul authentically inform me of her plans. I laze, I lie... and wait for inspiration. It quickly comes in the perusal of a sensuous book. How long I've waited to drink Dita's dancing dominance. It's all the more rich when absorbed fully and allowed the space. There is no guilt, just calmness through the peace that clarity affords me. I chug my waters and my teas... and float some more. The slowness of my day is most entrancing. The smells are rich, the colours are arresting. It's like I'm gliding through an altered dream yet this is just reality, more deeply felt, in all it's divine starkness. I'm meditative as I hang washing on the line. I muse at how captivating even this activity appears. For the first time in years, I choose to drink my green juice outside, in the garden - not ensconced at the kitchen table with books and magazines. I chew and swallow and experience it's textures fully. This like being in a new dimension, the old ways forgotten. "This is so easy! Should this be not the experience of all!?" The phone rings, it's a friend - I answer. A newfound, even chirpiness channels through my tone. My heart is open to her, my speech warm and steady. I am as joyed to hear from her as sit in stillness. One deliciously mundane dream unravels into others. I am not sure about tonight, whether I want to stay or go. Arrangements to be broken for the solitude, or invitations celebrated for connection? I can't decide - I'll take it our by hour. All I know is that suddenly I want to write and share ... and that's exquisite. Perhaps this blissfulness may soon be met with ego-death and hunger. Yet I know what I need now to stay strong. My body so craves the nutrients and the healing. And my mind feels so at ease it'll hurry it along. With love, Alina XoX